I Stepped on a Bug and it Changed the Course of History
I stepped on a bug and it changed the course of history…
Ever heard the phrase? I personally don’t believe it, well didn’t I suppose. Fate, fate decides our future, it’s written in the stars, we have absolutely NO control, if it’s meant to be it will be. Do you really believe that? Does anybody? I mean I am a strong believer in the power of positive thinking but fate? No. I think we make our future, if you drop out of high school and then you can’t get a job that requires a high education you can’t exactly blame that on fate. I think that the decisions we make in the now affect our long-term futures. However I didn’t used to think that small decisions could change anything, the kind of decisions you make subconsciously- the pace you walk at, whether or not you decide to stop and throw away that piece of trash.
Everything I believe has changed though. I don’t know if I necessarily think that there is such thing as fate but when you think about all of the small decisions that you make in the course of a day and how much they affect everything else you do, well it’s hard not to believe that everything is orchestrated and choreographed by something that we can never quite understand.
I met a boy, someone I am best friends with now. I walked past him last November at my school and he was walking with another girl- they were talking. Before I walked past him I saw a piece of trash on the ground that I debated about picking up, and in the end decided it would just be easier to throw it away. I walked past the boy at a moment when he wasn’t talking to the girl. He had seen me around before and said “I know you.” I however wasn’t in a good mood so instead of playing along and asking his name I just responded “You don’t know my name.” He agreed and we walked away from each other. At the end of the day he approached me and had asked around and found out my name. We have hung out so many times and I’ve changed my route to school for him. So much changed for me in meeting him and a couple of seconds could have changed everything. Not serious time, just a few seconds- the kind of time it would have taken me to step on a piece of gum and try to wipe it off of my shoe, the kind of time it would have taken for me to decide not to throw out the trash. A few seconds and I wouldn’t have walked past him when he wasn’t talking to the girl. If I had been in a different mood I may have stopped and talked to him and he wouldn’t have had to find out my name and we wouldn’t have become friends. So much relied on those few seconds and if I had stepped on bug it would have changed the course of my history.
So I don’t really know what I believe. Is fate real? Do we have control over every aspect of our lives? Or are we really just living? Just living taking everything as it comes and never stopping to think about what might be different if we had stepped on that bug. Because who really knows? We didn’t step on it and we can’t know what would be different if we had. We can’t live in the past- we can try, but no one ever really succeeds. Some try to think that they can see the big picture, that they’re living the big picture, but maybe the future does unravel in a pre-determined way. And maybe, just maybe, there isn’t a single thing we can do about it.
Meat for Lent
I was thinking about my eating habits recently and the fact that I haven’t worked out in about a week- I was a little upset by this because I like feeling healthy. I realized that lately I’ve been eating more junk food than I would like. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and so I’ve been thinking about lent, and I’ve decided I’m going to give up meat. Hopefully this will make me feel better than I do at the moment.
Jordan
Back to the Blog
Okay I haven’t posted in what seems like forever and with my limited knowledge of infinities it might have been:) But as I was falling asleep tonight I thought about this blog- this blog that I wrote and that I thought was pointless, this blog that I thought nobody but myself cared about. Maybe that’s true, maybe no one in their right mind would read my blog thinking that if it didn’t follow a clear pattern- which it really doesn’t- then they shouldn’t waste their time on it. I thought about this blog that I tried to delete but could not figure out how and I thought about this blog- and I realized that I couldn’t remember the title of my own blog. I felt like it was the dumbest thing to have been so excited to make something and have so much fun with it but decide that if no one else cared about it then it wasn’t worth my effort.
I came back to this blog because I couldn’t fall asleep knowing that something I had created and at least for a little bit of time cared about was lost in the depths of my brain. I went on to the wordpress website and I saw the daunting log in bar, it was almost scary- no it was scary. It was like if I hadn’t gone to this website in soooo long then some big bad monster was going to yell at me for trying to care about it again. I think that it is this way with a lot of things. I logged on and I saw the title of my blog and saw the posts I wrote and I remembered why I loved it. I remembered that putting my thoughts no matter how scatter-brained they were on the internet was what I enjoyed. The posts don’t follow a pattern, no, but what does that matter? Does it diminish from their importance? Maybe some came to this blog and thought that what I wrote was meaningless because I wasn’t writing to entertain them I was writing for myself. I love this blog and its cluttered mess of posts, I love the inefficient, unorganized, madness that lacks any sort of method.
Because I truly am Random At My Best, and I am back.
Notebook
Hey! I know I haven’t posted in a while- super busy. But you should go check out my Notebook page. Hopefully you’ll see something you like.
=) Jordan
Brian Reagan
Nothing to say today- boring life- other than this.
Brian Reagan is frickin hilarious. So all I have to say today is go on youtube.com and look up Brian Reagan.
No seriously DO IT.
Haha <3
Jordan
